We Must Ban Human Nature for the Sake of Humanity

(American Greatness | Ned Ryun) — In the wake of the Gilroy, El Paso, and Dayton shootings, Americans have heard quite a bit of talk about assault weapons bans and “red flag” laws. I think it’s probably time to accept that there should be bans. Surely, though, guns aren’t the only objects in need of banning. Here are a few modest proposals.

First, it’s time to ban knives. While I understand that these tools are useful in the kitchen, for hunting, for carving, quite frankly for all sorts of things, the fact is knives kill. I bet you didn’t know this, but you are four times more likely to be murdered with a knife or box cutters than with a rifle. Therefore, morally, to save society, we should ban knives and box cutters. While I’m very sorry that this will make it difficult for you to open packages that some genius decided to seal with half a roll of packing tape, what is that frustration when pitted against saving even one human life? ...continues.